Link to original: http://sanguinarius.org/articles/DG_aftercare.shtml
In my last article I spoke briefly about "Aftercare" when dealing with a donor. I touch briefly on the concept that there are certain aftercare obligations a vampire has in regards to the donor, but I didn't really cover in depth what that might entail. So I thought I would expand a little on the ideas and perhaps allow for some new thoughts, concepts and ideas of your own kind of aftercare to start to be nurtured.
I want to start by saying that each of us is different. We handle things in different ways, with different people and donors, obviously. I know also that there are many different kinds of vampires and what works the best for one kind of donor may not work at all for another kind of donor. There is a triple antibiotic ointment to help a psi donor after the affair has been completed.
This said I would like to break this down into three pieces:
- Aftercare for The Sanguinary Donor
- Aftercare for The Psi Energy Donor
- Aftercare for The Eros Type (Sexual) Donor
Let me start by saying that aftercare for all types can be fairly simple. The biggest consideration is taking the time to really get to know your donor. Find out what their medical history is, mental and emotional state and any conditions that could become an issue. Trust your gut before your hunger if your gut says "Stop". Take a metaphoric cold shower and move on!
That said, let me move on and talk about the different aspects of sanguinary donor aftercare.
1. Aftercare for the Sanguinary Donor
The first thing to consider is their physical well-being. Make sure they are physically well, not dizzy, feeling nauseated, or excessively weak. We want to watch for such things, as they could lead to complications and physical injury. We can never leave a recently drained donor by themselves for at least 15 minutes after the exchange, as they could fall, become ill, or in other ways need your attention.
Ensure you have the right clean up items on hand prior to feeding, and then use them in an informed manner. Things like betadine or rubbing alcohol are two of many different types of antiseptic topical cleansers out on the market. There are also many different kinds of post-cleaning ointments that are on the market as well, Neosporin, Bacitracin, Triple Antibiotic Ointment, are all great to help keep bacteria out of a newly cleaned cut. A good band-aid is also advisable; I like Scooby Doo band-aids as they add a little emotional humor and warmth, but to each their own.
"Emotion" brings us to the reported emotional bond or connection often felt by donors after a feeding. Because of the highly intimate action of taking one's blood, there is oftentimes a reported bond or connection between the donor and vampire. It is important to understand that the bond is not something that happens in every case, but that it is possible. With proper communication before the feeding the donor and vampire can become aware of this bond's possibility and therefore be more able to handle the situation should it arise.
Talk, spend some time getting to know each other, speak of your expectations, explain clearly how deeply emotionally you are prepared to become and what, if anything will be involved in the aftercare process.
I find that there are many ways, once the basic clean up is done, to show your appreciation as well as allow the donor and vampire some time to cool down so to speak. One of those, to basically state, plan a night on the town. It does not have to be dancing or movies, but get out and spend a little time winding down.
Some like just getting a video and spending some time on the couch just hanging out and watching a good flick. Each person is different but planning prior to the act can really save you a lot of time and helps to ensure both parties are happy and understanding at the end of the night.
2. Aftercare for the Psychic Donor
Aftercare for the psychic donor in some ways sounds easier then the other two kinds. After all there does not need to be, in most cases, an intimate physical connection. You do not have to worry about disease and infection; the changes of a deep emotional connection are limited...aren't they?
The truth is that aftercare of all donors can be simple or complex. The psychic donor is oftentimes the hardest one to take care of after the event. Not only can their physical energy be drained, but so can their emotional and spiritual energy.
Watch out for signs that the donor seems overly drained or confused. While many will declare their well-being, if you watch them, you may see some signs of donor drain.
The recently drained donor needs to be looked after often more intently then any of the other types. Part of this is because truly understanding their current state can be so difficult. Some become so drained that they become very suggestible, though they seem to be perfectly happy and rational. Without reason they suddenly are willing to engage in physical acts with those they normally would not be willing too engage with. They may also simply not be able to really say no as the drain can leave then simply confused and uncertain.
More than one donor has complained to me of being left in a state of near-helplessness, and then taken advantage of by others. One told me the story of how she was raped, and while normally she would have been able to fight him off, she was so weakened that the rape must nearly have seemed consensual. There are a few tests one can employ to help, but these are not foolproof.
Get the donor to conduct a fine motor skill of an unknown action. Like ask them to untie a knot, or write something. Often times if a donor can write clear-headed thoughts then the issue is resolved, demonstrating fine motor skills shows the ability to focus and concentrate.
Oftentimes a psychic donor can experience a state of depression after the initial physical drain. The trouble is that the emotional roller coaster that many of them can ride is often hard to detect. Because of this it is more important than ever to really make sure you conduct good follow up with your donor. Make certain that they are healthy and in good spirits.
It is important not to confuse basic donor drain with depression. Depression is something that normally sets in over time and stays around longer than a few hours. Donor drain can often have emotional reactions, but typically is gone after a short period of time.
One Donor I had simply wanted to have me sit beside her with her head in my lap for fifteen or twenty minutes while she composed herself. I secretly think my post-feeding conversation was more than she could stand after fifteen minutes and forced her into clarity of thought. Either way after the fifteen or twenty minutes she would typically go dancing or find another way to enjoy our evening.
3. Aftercare for the Eros Type Donor
Well this is a tough one. First understand that eros type feeders do not always feed of sex itself. Rather sexual energy which can be gained through many different means. One, of course, is sexual intercourse itself. If you do not know how to clean up after sex it is perhaps best if you move to another article. Planned Parenthood, and Millions of internet sites have detailed information about how to clean up after sex. They contain everything from when to pee to where to throw the condom if one is used, so I will spare you.
Another of the eros types feed from "the physical tease". This involves sexual touching without the actual sexual intercourse. Many of this type of feeder are into different kinks and use this as their means to feed. This often does not involve fluid exchange but can have some very serious emotional and physical effects.
It is important, like above, to take these into consideration and ensure both parties are made aware of exactly what is expected. Just because one of this kind of feeder wants to twist your nipples, or slap your ass does not mean they want to be lifelong partners. It is extremely important to make this clear if it is your intent.
The final eros type feeder is the one I call "the tlirt". The flirt feeds from the desire and lust of others. It is often their goal to make the donor so worked up with desire as to make the sexual tension nearly palpable. Most all of us have felt that tension at one point or another in our lives, and the issues are obvious.
Like "the tease", "the flirt" may or may not want sexual intercourse. However, in order to make sure that he/she feeds, they need to induce that desire in another. It can be tricky work. One reported to me that he would get his co-worker so hot to trot that she would race home and nearly rape her husband.
He would feed from her in this manner at lest twice a week. The relationship was built in a manner that made all three very happy. This kind of relationship is not as common as one might like for it to be.
After care for Physical reactions, emotional connections, for donor drain, and for all those little things that might pop up is very important. The best way in all cases to prepare for proper donor care is to talk in advance with a proper negotiation between the parties. While the hunger may be raging inside, it's important to try to have patience, keep a level head, and work to take care of both ourselves and our donors.