Donors

Written by: Sarasvati
Link to original: http://sarasvati.sanguinarius.org/donor.htm
You Shouldn't Seduce Me Into Quarreling With the Terms of My Own Existence! --Vampire Tapestry

To satisfy the Thirst completely, for the time being one must drink blood (providing that you are a sanguinarian, of course). Note, though, I do not condone the drinking of blood! If I didn't think I had to, I wouldn't for safety and sanity, and so I say that you, reader, as well... if you don't absolutely have to, DON'T! To drink it one must find it. This can prove difficult. One must watch closely the people they drink from, to protect against disease, and one must first find them. My donors have all been trusted friends who either I told or they figured out what I was. Good friends are often the best people to go to, both because you can (usually) trust them, and its a lot easier to ask for a Drink from someone you know well rather then a stranger. Like Coming Out of the Coffin, the best people to ask are those who seem open minded. Though in terms of looking for a donor there are some people to avoid. I have noticed that people with significant others (not yourself) often make bad donors, mostly for emotional reasons. Though the drinking may not be an erotic occasion for you, this may not be well understood and difficult to explain to a donor's significant other. It can lead to some nasty misunderstandings, and often accusations of cheating and betrayal. So, unless the potential donor's significant other is completely alright with it, I wouldn't go there. ANYONE under the age of 18 is a definite no-no. You are marking a person, cutting them to get blood. Anyone under 18 is a minor and cannot legally give permission for this to be done, no matter how "mature" they are, it can lead to imprisonment and legal dung up to your armpits. Very bad thing.

There are a few systems on the internet that allow a person to "register" as either seeking donors or as a donor. Be sure that you observe safety in meeting the people on these boards in IRL, though. Go in a group of friends to a public place where screaming is not he norm. Also be sure to have them tested for diseases before drinking. Such diseases can be found at Blood Borne Diseases. I have heard of some picking up people in coffee houses or bars, though I wouldn't recommend this as particularly safe. I would also recommend that if you find a donor from someplace where you do not know them well, make up a short "contract". It doesn't have to be anything fancy, just as long as it has both your names, signed by both of you, and states that your donor gives you permission to drink his/her blood in whatever method decided upon (be sure to state method, though!). Again, this is a legal butt-cover and can keep you out of trouble if your donor ever decides to try and back pedal over you. Copy it and keep the original, give a copy to your donor. Note, however, in some states this is not 100% legal cover, as one cannot give permission for assult...which is what it would qualify as in some areas.

Learn how to keep yourself and your donor safe as well, such as keeping the tools sterile and learning anatomy. Pay attention to How to Keep Your Donor Safe. This reduces the risk of disease being passed to your donor from dirty implements and from you accidently cutting something major. For disease information go to: Blood Borne Diseases By all means, however, if you don't need to drink blood, DON'T! It is simply not something that is a particularly safe practice. Also, be sure to keep your donors running blood tests, to protect you as well. Check the medications that your donor is taking too. If you are taking mediations or are allergic to some medicines the drugs in your donor's system may react with your own system, so BE SURE! Also, I have come across and article by Sarah Dorrence that helps with this particular aspect: How to Feed Properly


There are certain things that I believe all donors to sanguinarians should be aware of before they donor, things that if suddenly just come up can lead again to misunderstandings and even fear toward you from you donor:

  1. We are not constantly in violent mode as some books and movies depict us, but at times of high thirst we can be more violent then other times. Protect yourself, don't be afraid to do what you need to keep yourself safe. Also, if we start to hurt you while drinking, tell us, sometimes we just don't realize we are doing it.
  2. If we ask you to back off or step away, please do so right then. We appreciate the fact that you care, but if we are twoofing, or beasting and you try to be comforting, it can have the opposite effect. Show us you care by stepping back, then just talk, don't try to touch or hug please :(
  3. Don't let us pressure you into donoring, if you are not feeling well or just don't feel like it, don't. Sure we might be grumpy about it for awhile, but it's not the end of the world and we will get over it pretty quickly. We can have a one track mind when we are thirsty, but that doesn't mean you come second.
  4. We trust you, to keep yourself healthy and thus us healthy. Please don't betray that trust. If you think you are sick, tell us, if you think you may have caught a blood-born disease, tell us.
  5. Do not let us make you feel like "lunch", like something unimportant there just to keep us content. If you start to feel that way, tell us, let us know what we are doing that makes you feel that way. I for one would be quick to try and fix that, you are important to us, as more than a meal.
  6. Please make the cut/mark yourself. If I am bad off, I don't want to do it simply because I have a pretty good chance of accidently getting overzealous when the red starts to show. Plus, it is dangerous for all involved if I twoof and have the blade in my hand. If you cannot make the cut yourself, but still wish to donor, find a third party to do so, but please don't make me do it!

More great suggestions for donors can be found on Dark Dreams

Above all, treat your donor with the respect they deserve. Your life would be much more difficult without their existence. They are human too, and need to be treated as such. They are not bipedal blood bags, they are friends and consorts, with minds and souls and feelings, remember this. You rely on them, not vice-versa, therefore you are not above them. I cannot seem to say this enough, being one of my personal pet peeves People Are Not Cattle!! There is another wonderful article by Blood Brother C entitled The Feeding Dynamic. He can place the situation into much more eloquent terms than I can.

Another point I wish to make in terms of a donor/sanguin relationship. The Sanguin MUST be honest, with his/herself at the very least. Know your limits, know what you can and cannot take, know what triggers the beast in you. Even if it is something frightening, something you do not want to consider you MUST, for your sake as well as your donors. You do no one any good by pretending that everything is alright, that you can take it all, even if you know in some part of you that you can't. It takes more strength sometimes to walk away then it does to "tough it out". Don't be a fool sometime by thinking that it will just go away in ten minutes, or fifteen, or twenty when you know it is just going to get worse. Walk away, you can give a reason later or an excuse if need be. Pride and stubbornness can be our worst enemies.